Realization

 While I was at the beach I thought about Sarah's comment that "Your relationship with Will is now grief.  Grief is your relationship."

I wonder if I am still grieving simply in order to keep him near.

The great thing about him dying at the end of the year is that I can say "it's been 8 months" without having to count on my fingers.

So I say, "It's been 8 months -- why am I still hurting.  Why can't I see ahead of me?"