Colonoscopy

(I started this post yesterday but nodded off before finishing. I also left the garage door open and the car in the driveway last night! I was NOT supposed to be driving yesterday, according to my take-home paperwork, but I needed to deal with Mr. Winston -- he wasn't eating and I thought it was because he hadn't pooped. So I drove him to Compass Park last night to see if he would poop. So he would eat something. He ate nothing all day until around 5:00 pm he was that worried about me. And this paragraph started out being about forgetfulness and turned into a story of my relationship with my dog. And poop.  Everything comes down to poo. Writing was ever thus.)

So, yesterday was my fourth colonoscopy.  I had soooo much anxiety preceding it. I was praying hard and talking to God about meeting Will and made sure to get my advanced directive to my doctor, my sister, and a friend. I'm glad I'm terrible at predicting anything! So I'm here on the planet at The Haven this morning, with some residual pain in my gut but happy to have this done! 

Now I can move forward with being anxious about my trip on Sunday.

Fortunately, all of the nursing staff at St. Charles that worked with me were awesome, as was the doctor.

Folks assuaged my fears but didn't try to talk me out of them. The lead nurse, whose name at this moment I can't recall, saw my "Bistro Huddy" shirt and said he was a fan of the same creator. We had a nice chat about funny influencers. Other nurses were concerned about my comfort level ("another blanket, please"). The "get your clothes off and lie here" area was very chilly. 

Although I was scheduled for 11:45, I didn't actually get my clothes off until around 1:00 and didn't get operated on until around 2. Then the doctor came to talk with me while I was barely awake. He told me I had more holes, that he cut out and sent for biopsy two polyps, and that there was something a bit odd about my colon, though I forget the exact term. They have to use the pediascope (kids colonoscope) on me.

I'm good now for five years.

The prep was worse than during my third colonoscopy and I will never go through that prep again. A gallon of awful stuff -- Gavilyte-C.  For my last colonoscopy the laxative was in a bottle smaller than a coke can. So I managed to keep the first eight cups down, during and following which I spent a couple of hours on the john. 

But then I accidentally took a nap on the couch (having been awake and drinking only clear liquids since 3 am Thursday) and woke up after midnight. I was supposed to take the second half gallon at 11:00! So I gulped down four cups and sat on the john and woopsie daisy, all eight cups wound up very quickly on the floor. It takes approximately 1/2 of a paper towel roll to get up a quarter gallon of that stuff. Do you know that Gavilyte-C is an excellent floor cleaner?

Miss Poppy beside my hospital armband

So, I waited 15 minutes and then, more slowly, tried to get down the last four cups. I got down 3 then got a sauce pan on my way to my throne.  Good thing, too, or I would have used the other half of that roll of paper towel. So, no more Gavilyte-C!!! Ever! 

It just seems ridiculous to me that a small person like myself is taking the same fucking dose as someone 6 foot tall. 

So I'm glad it's over, except for getting the story from my two polyps.

I was taken and picked up by my sweet new friend and fellow widow Beth Ellis, who also gave me a homemade chicken pot pie for my dinner and it was deliciouso.