Tears for Fears

 I hear that crying is good for folks.  

Emotional crying, that is.  Seems it releases oxytocin* and endorphins, if you do it long enough.

If so, this has been a healthy few days for me.  I've been pretty sad and then I ran out of my anti-depressant and missed a dose and when that happens, my brain gets released into whatever sorrow it can stand.  Most of the time, my sertraline* prevents tears except the most dramatic.

So, it's good to cry and I do when the tears appear.

Unlike my mom, who died when she was just five years older than I am now.  I never saw her grieving over the tragedy of my older sister.  I've long thought that her lack of public grieving, not just the years of cigarette smoking, was in part responsible for her death.  "Studies have linked repressive coping with a less resilient immune system, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension, as well as with mental health conditions," writes Leo Newhouse at Harvard.

I zoom with my wonderful grief therapist later today and then I'm heading up to Portland.  Right now I'm in Eugene (dear thieves -- please, break into my house and steal all my books!) where Winston and I stayed overnight with my sister and her lovely new kitty, Mitzi.  

Winston has been learning that it's not good to run up to kitties to sniff their butts.  His attempts to make friends have provided some lovely comic relief.

I had to drive a rental car over to Eugene because my Bolt still can't travel from Bend to any-fucking-where outside.  Reminding me of what Ward Tonsfeldt, Humanities chair, told me when I was interviewing at COCC -- "you need to be a claustrophile to live here, because it's locked in in the winter."

But now it's my car that has keeps me stuck so I needed a rental.  At the last minute they told me "no pets in the car".  Well, that's kind of like hotels telling me not to let Winston on the bed.  Hahahahahahaha.

As for Bend being locked in -- our winters grow milder and milder -- it's been absolutely beautiful this February.  Thank you Global Climate Change.

Oh, and sorry if you got to this blog because you're a fan of 80s pop.

 

 

 

 

*Dear Blogger -- please learn some science -- these chemicals are not misspelled.