So this is a thing . . .

 I wrote this last Sunday

Watching digitized 1992 Will

On Friday I was in the bedroom and asked Alexa to play OPB on TuneIn while I was changing clothes. I hated the news as soon as it came on so said, "Alexa Stop!" and she did.  Then I asked her to play a particular song from Amazon music ...  Statler Bros., maybe.  I finished dressing before the song was over and asked her to turn off.  She did.  Then as I was leaving the room she popped back on playing something.  I told her, "Alexa stop" and she didn't.  I told her again.  She didn't.  So I stood there listening to the words, "Hard times come again no more ..."  The piece, by some camerata, ended and an announcer came on and said that the song was from Ken Burns Civil War. When I told Alexa to stop once more, she did.

Will loved this song.  He loved Americana and played the Ken Burns' Civil War soundtrack often for a few years after we watched it.  I know he would not like or does not like how sad I remain. Perhaps this technical difficulty was him speaking to me once more. That's how I felt when I heard it.

 

 

Moving In Mind

 Dear Will:

We didn’t move in 2014 because you had developed dementia and it would have further damaged you.

I haven’t had the energy to move since you died. I may never have the energy, as much as I dislike Bend and don’t like to think about dying there.  So I’ve been on a trip looking at the valley, thinking about whether or not I want to move over here. I made half assed preparations for this trip and have had a bit of a half-assed time, but I for sure figured out that I don’t want to move to Corvallis.

Three Ladies from The Magic Flute

Right now I’m sitting in the Magic Flute room at McMenamins Grand Lodge. Since this Hotel is constructed in the reframed old people’s Masonic Grand Lodge, it’s very appropriate to have Mozart playing 24/7 in this room.  It may even be the opera itself.  At this moment in time it IS the overture playing.

My grief is much more manageable, though I’ve been crying at odd times. When I dropped in on Steve and Kate I cried on the way up their gravel driveway because you were with me the last time I saw them.

I still get frustrated too quickly and get angry and irritated when things don’t go my way.  I need to work harder on chilling out.

Love you always,

Kake